“Can I please show the remaining experiment next time sir?”, said I, starring at his dull mood. Without bothering to look up, he kept correcting the other journals and gave me a mere nod. I pleaded him twice more , when finally he looked straight into my eyes and said, “Okay”.
I had never seen such a face of his. He looked too dull and tired. It felt like he’s going through an agony, which is eating him up. All the days during the course, he used to be ultra happy, charming, delighted and full of life. And now, he looked like a fish out of water. I thought that the burning summer has sucked his energy out of him and may be that’s why he looked lifeless. But I strongly felt that the sun had no role in the picture. A glimpse of his charming look flashed through my eyes and I couldn’t control myself from asking him the reason of his ennui. As he had always been like a friend, I gathered all my courage and started with a normal conversation.
“Which day shall I come, sir?”
“Tuesday will be fine.”
“What time will you be here, sir?”
“I won’t be there. Show it to Ganesh sir.”
Ganesh sir is a tall, builded man with a caramel complexion . He always wore a pair of high heeled Woodland shoes and a large fastrack watch. With bold face, he always wore a stern look. He guided other batch and was too strict about completion. He would take no longer to give a LATE remark for a single day late. Even a girl’s tears couldn’t stop him from giving a red, bold and large fonted LATE remark.
Feared of getting a late remark, I questioned, “When will you come, sir?”
“I won’t be coming”, said sir.
Unable to interpret the situation, I questioned, “Means? Why won’t you be coming?”
I couldn’t stand on my feet when he revealed, “I’m leaving the institution!”
I was DUMBSTRUCK and stood there like a fool. I was too shocked to utter a single word. Various emotions started flowing through my mind in such a vigorous velocity like water flows from a full filled dam. My eyes widened up and ears became numb. I kept starring him in surprise and he couldn’t help. Any of the external noise didn’t reach my tympanic membrane and I felt as if I grew deaf. Only thing I could hear was his sweet voice and laughter, which my brain had recorded in the past. It felt like earth has stopped revolving, clock has stopped moving, breeze has stopped flowing, the beautiful morning was no more beautiful and was turning into a horrifying one!
“Hey, hey, hey! “, exclaimed he and I came back to my senses. It was then when I saw his face. It had turned more dull and I could see he was having a difficult time, controlling his emotions and to face me. After fifteen minutes of complete silence, I made my way to move. It actually wasn’t silence. We didn’t have any verbal communication, but were talking continuously through eyes! My eyes described the pain and his eyes were saying how sorry he was. I could no longer ask him anything and left the cold room.
*10 minutes later*
I and my gfs were sitting in cafeteria. They were having South Indian and I was having pain. I wasn’t able to take part in any of their conversations and felt like a fish out of water. On being asked, when I started describing my feelings, they began to tickle. Maybe they didn’t understand my pain. Maybe they had never gone through this phase. Maybe they never felt this type of enormous true love, unconditional feeling and respect for any teacher. Apparently, even I was feeling all this for first time. Neither had I felt such, nor I thought I would ever feel such.
Slowly, I started thinking sanely and thought of gifting him something and bid with a proper goodbye. The happening was inevitable and one gotta think positively. He was gonna leave in half an hour and I had no time to make something unique. And so, I tore a page off my notebook and started scribbling a letter.
It was a combination of both personal and professional format and went like this –
Subject : A confession from your admirer.
It came as a great shock to me when you said that this is the last day of yours in this institution. I won’t exaggerate but I literally couldn’t control and bursted into tears.
Before you leave, I wanna confess few things sir. You are the best sir I’ve ever come across in my life, especially for biochemistry. BIOCHEMISTRY is the one which has never been my cup of tea, but only because of your graceful teaching, I started liking it. You literally changed my vision towards this subject, which filled me with lot of interest for this subject. The only lecture you took for our class was DETOXIFICATION and I really wish I could get more of it. Your teaching have always been flawless and the topic gets stuck into the mind once you teach.
I would really consider myself to be very very lucky to learn so much of things under your brilliant guidance. You’ve really been a guide, philosopher and a good friend throughout the course. I even feel very good for the students, whom you’ll come across in future and distribute the enormous knowledge you have.
Lastly, I would like to wish you all the best and a very happy journey.
Thanks a lot sir. We’ll miss you.”
I starred my watch and learnt that I was running late. I didn’t want to miss this chance. In no time, I grabbed my bag and accelerated towards the medical school. Somehow avoided dashing here and there, I finally stepped in staffroom. To my luck, he was alone in there, almost leaving. I gushed inside the room like a wind and obstructed him from leaving. After 5 long minutes of tachydyspnea, I handled the letter to him. He kept looking at me in shock.
“What is this?”, asked he.
“All my feelings poured on a piece of paper, please accept sir”, lamented me.
He took it and opened it eagerly. No longer did he read the subject, then a drop of tear fell off his eyes and hit my letter. THAT WAS THE MOMENT! UNFORGETTABLE. UNRESISTABLE.
I found that he didn’t dare to read the whole of it with me standing in front of me, neither was I that strong to face that extra sentimental situation and bear the bitter truth of his departure.
“Omg! I umm I ah I’m really too glad and thankful to you. This will be with me forever”, expressed he with dewy-eyes.
“Yeah. Thanks a lot sir. Thanks for everything” , said I, shedding few drops of tears.
It was a situation where both of us knew that the change is inevitable, yet unwilling to accept the truth. Yet unable to move on. Yet sinking in the sea of pain. Yet waiting for some miracle to occur. Yet standing there. Yet! Yet! Yet! Sometimes it’s really so darn difficult to accept things and to move on. That moment I was reminded about “Nothing is permanent” and all such philosophical things.
That was the last time I had a vision of his.
Short-statured, ambrosial, appealing, charming, captivating, cute, lovable, savvy, adorable, amiable, cheerful, and a learned person is the impression of his and the only thing which he left with me while leaving.
P.S. – Devoted to
Dr Gururaj, MD,
Department of biochemistry.