Daily Routine, Life & Beginning 2017

Life!

You get so busy and adapted in a daily routine that you literally forget to try something creative, out of the schedule, out of the box. And to my surprise, when you don’t have that schedule to follow, you just tend to sit blank. So blank that you can’t believe yourself. Yes, I’m talking my condition right now. As soon as I open my eyes, I need to get ready and rush for my college. We’re so occupied 8-4pm that no thought haunts me. But as soon as I get free at 4, I don’t understand what to do. I’ve been feeling such since a couple of weeks I guess. A while ago, I was at my friend’s place, who’s married to my professor. I was at her place for more than an hour and I couldn’t talk about any damn thing. This feeling kills inside. It’s like, sitting, thinking about nothing, scrolling down Facebook and Instagram in loops and feeling like a shit.
Thankfully, Mr Sil asked me to write something for the blog and I started doing some (I don’t understand what I’m writing) but at least some work. He’s the one who truly understands me and knows me more than I know myself. He exactly knows how to enlighten my mood and make me work. He has all the way to make feel creative all again. Well, I can be most probably wrong but I think I got a minor bipolar disorder. I mean I’ve never been such. Always did I keep myself engaged in some work, really innovative work. And now, writing some shit, staring out, and eating a lot of junk.
Me and He just had a beautiful trip to Matheran, a secluded (from vehicles) hill station. I gotta write about the trip and also about another grand 2000km roadtrip that we’ll be doing this weekend. You’re definitely gonna enjoy the details of the trip. Surprisingly, I feel like I’m gonna get back to writing. I SHOULD BE WRITING. IT’S ONE OF THE MOST PASSIONATE THINGS TO ME.

Happy New Year! Thanks.

– Ms Sil.

From Right Questions To Wrong Answers Or, Vice Versa?

The thing I would say is, when you grow up you tend to get told that, the world is the way it is. And you should live your life inside that world, try not to bash into the walls too much.. Try to have a nice family life.. Have fun.. Save a little money.. That’s a very generic and limited approach to life. It can much broader once you discover a very simple fact. That everything around you that you call life, is made by people that were no smarter than you. You can change it, influence it. You can build your own things that other people can use. The minute you understand that you can poke life.. push something in and something will pop out the other side. You can change and mold it. That’s may be the most important thing is to shake off this erroneous notion that the life is there and, you are just gonna live in it vs embracing it, changing it, shaping it, improving it to match your inner voice’s demands. Once you learn that, you will never be the same again.

I would say that’s what happened to me a long back. I discovered the different between generic vs personalized way of living and embracing things. But I could never image that building a personalized life that matches your inner voice’s demand would be so much more difficult.

I still don’t understand why people like sports. They get so emotional over the weirdest things. But I do see the beauty in the rules, the invisible code of chaos hiding behind the menacing face of order. I don’t understand how people can find joy in little things.. Probably it’s important for human survival. Frankly, I could never get it..

People like to keep the journal. It’s the only way to program your routine like it’s supposed to. I keep my bedroom free of computer or internet access. All that’s left for me is ordinary analog sleep. Ending the day’s loop, you might not think that it’s a way to live. But why not? Repeating the same tasks each day. Without ever having to think about them. Isn’t that what everybody does? Keep things on repeat.

When you look closely at the seams between order and chaos, do you see the same things I see. The strains, the tears, the glimpse of truth hidden underneath. Why do they fight so desperately to mask what they are? Or is it that they become what they are when they put on the mask? Sometimes I wonder what you hide behind it. What mask do you wear? Or are you just as afraid as the rest of them? Me? Am I afraid? Nah, man. I am different.

An entrepreneur in me has become my god and like all gods, that madness takes you prisoner. People think their worship is some key to happiness. That’s just how a hidden person in you owns you. Even if I am not crazy enough to believe that distortion of reality. So fuck God. He’s not a good enough scapegoat for me.

Better the devil you know than devil you don’t, right?

Maybe the entrepreneur in me is unplugged, powerless! He’ll try to wear me down but as long as I stick to the regimen, he can’t take control. No matter how much of an illusion I think this is. That’s what the control of regimen, my routine journal, my perfectly constructed loop, what this whole thing’s been about. A gap in my consciousness.

May be its not about avoiding the crash, the fatal failure that could be ahead of me. But it’s about setting a breakpoint. To find the flaw in the code, fix it and carry on until you hit the next flaw. It’s a quest to keep on going, to always fight for footing. Maybe we are all stumbling from the right questions to the wrong answers. Or from the right answers to the wrong questions. It doesn’t matter where you go or where you come from, as long as you keep stumbling. That’s all it takes and that’s as good as it gets.

This game I have agreed to is dangerous. Maybe I will end up destroying a part of myself. win or lose, for better or worse, the entrepreneur in me is a part of me that makes me, me. The world that I have always wanted. I would like very much to fight for it. It’s just like chess.

In chess, external help isn’t allowed. That’s the beauty of this game. You are locked into a set of moves as determined by your previous choices. Your options dramatically changing with every decision. There is no lifeline. There is no external force at play. It is a pure battle of two opponents, or in this case, one! The game always concludes in stalemate. But you need a winner, so you always reset until you find it. You can think all the moves you want but, at the end of the day, the moves that an entrepreneur in you is making are the ones you are telling him to make.. And there are over 9 million possible positions after three chess moves each. There are over 288 billion different possible positions after four moves. A number of 40 moves game is greater than the number of electrons in the observable universe. You don’t need to know those outcomes. You just need to be able to see ahead of your opponent. But how can you when your other opponent is you? Stalemate. You can’t beat him and he can’t beat you. You could play again, but you will always be at this impasse.

When a computer gets hit with a kernel panic, there’s only so much you can do. An internal fatal error is hard to recover from. Probably that’s what has happened to me. Any second an entrepreneur in me is going to come back and my mind will be under siege again. I will wear that charming mask and burn rubber to get back on the track.

A distinct friend called up and said, I didn’t get placed in campus rounds. Thinking of trying my luck with building a startup. Did you ever consider whether entrepreneurs are born or made? You cannnot program yourself to be one. It has to be within you, a completely strange avatar of your own that commands you, dominates you, controls you and manipulates every move to match what he desires to become, to reach the milestone that he wants to conquer.

Dealing with your own mind is probably the most powerful takeaway of entrepreneurship. It can make you mentally invincible…

Laters!

– mr sil

LOVE : AFFLATUS

         So, this time I thought of writing about my sweetheart. To describe him and express how much do I love him. We have completed three beautiful years of togetherness and I feel like nothing before. True love is the greatest feeling and the only thing, I think one really need to live happily and satisfactorily.

So, first question, what is love? Or what is true love?

Different people have different answers. Some says it’s when he’ll do anything for her, ignoring everything while others say it’s when he spends lavishly on her. Nowadays, many girls say that they want a guy who’ll keep her happy, doesn’t matter whether he’s wealthy or not. But what happens the next? What after marrying him in that zeal and excitement? What after you have kids and still low on cash? What after a decade of marriage? Is that love, heat and enthusiasm the same? Will the definition of love still remain the same? Will still “wealth-doesn’t-matter” condition be the same, even when you see your friends or neighbours enjoying their lives royally with loads of money, while your children will be offered second hand textbooks? What will be your reaction then?
    
Anyways, coming back to the present time. Some says they want a pretty, beautiful partner. He/She should look good.
   “She should have a waist like Deepika and lips like Katrina”
   “He should have a body like Salman and personality like Ranveer or humour like Ranbir”
There’s always a comparison, mostly with film actors or with sportsmen. Or billionaires.
   “He should have a Kawasaki Ninja and a bungalow in Juhu”
   “She should be good in bed with a mind blowing figure”
     These all are common things we sense around us and the demands we hear. It’s no odd phenomenon that okay-looking people are ignored or the one who are not fluent with English are not considered. No one thinks how out of the water they might be feeling. What about those people then? Can’t they be loved? Can’t they give love? Don’t they have hearts? Why do we keep running after good looks and wealth?

Love is an indescribable feeling which feels you with utmost energy. It can’t be seen or heard. It’s just felt and the couple engaged, feels concomitant. It’s no less than a miracle. It’s a heavenly thing which takes you to a complete different world. It brings the best out of you and actually let you explore yourself inside out. Each and every moment of life glows and brightens you up. You feel invariably happy all the time and it’s like a totally perfect life. The basic line is it makes you feel HAPPY. What to expect more from life?

I would love to share a mail he sent me, regarding love. I find that it completely describes what love actually is : INSPIRATION.

There’s one trait that I continuously find myself coming back to when it comes to dating: inspiration.

I don’t really care how you spend your time. I mean I hope you have hobbies, and it’d be cool if we have some in common, but as long as you spend your time doing things you enjoy, that’s cool with me. I don’t really care about your education. Do I hope you have one? Absolutely, that’s important to me. But I understand that it isn’t for everyone. Do I care about your job? Nah. But please, please, have a job that you enjoy doing. That’s all.

I really should reiterate. Because I DO care. I care about each and every aspect of you, even the ones I don’t always want to care about or the aspects you wish I wouldn’t care about. I care to know you — and knowing you involves all of those finite details previously mentioned. What I’m saying is that you’ll deviate from what I always envisioned. You won’t have every characteristic I always thought that I wanted in a woman. And that’s okay. But there’s one thing I need from you — one thing I really, truly value: I need you to inspire me.

Inspiration in its simplest form, really. I want you to inspire me to be a better person. To push myself — in my career, in my education, in my beliefs, culture, and values. I want you to inspire me to try things I always said I wouldn’t. To read books I never thought I’d like, to go to a place I never wanted to visit, to eat a food I always swore off. I want you to inspire me to be better. Every day. Because although self-motivation is important, sometimes our steam just runs out. Sometimes we need a person running alongside us, telling us we can keep going, that we can cross that finish line.

And I want to inspire you, too. I want to be able to push you. To stretch your limits and make you step outside of your comfort zone. Because inspiration is like a weed when you have the right amount. It grows wildly and quickly, and spreads throughout the surface. When it works, when it really works, we feed off of each other. We make each other better. We consistently try new things and pursue higher heights. That’s…well, that’s inspirational.

And that’s what I hope for. Maybe it’s a bit far-reaching but maybe it really isn’t at all.

Is that not the epitome of every healthy relationship? It’s a loose term: inspiration (and it’s largely open to interpretation). But think about it. Think of some important traits when you envision the perfect relationship: couples who love each other, who try new things together, who make time for each other, who put each other first, who listen to each other, who push each other. And now think about inspiration. What does inspiration make you do? Does it make you care? Love? Push harder and further? Depending on the situation, it certainly does.

Inspiration makes us better. Inspiration makes us want to do something. It moves our emotions, our intellect, our behavior. And is that not what every relationship needs? We need to be influenced to feel happiness and love, influenced to deeply care for someone other than ourselves, influenced to better ourselves while we better those around us. Quite frankly, that sounds pretty healthy to me.

So that’s all I want. And it encompasses so very, very, much, that one little word. Inspiration. 11 letters, 4 syllables, and a different meaning for every person walking this earth. But there’s someone out there — maybe you’ve already found them or maybe you’re still looking — but there’s someone walking around with a bottle of inspiration ready to swirl and mix with your own. To create that perfect recipe that leaves us with a sweet taste in our mouth and a warm feeling in our heart.

Fill your jar. Screw that lid on tight. And unleash that beauty when you’re good and ready.

Be inspired. Inspire others. Our world could use a bit more of that. ”

Well, this makes a lot of sense and describes what love is and how it is meant to be! Love isn’t just a physical attraction but a real deep mental connection, merging two souls together. It’s not just limited to looks, money or any materialistic thing, but beyond that. Way beyond.

DAPOLI

 

dapoliWhat can be more fun than going on a short lovely trip on your lover’s birthday?
And so, it was his 19th, and we decided to go to North Maharashtra. We packed our bags, rested our ass and geared up our beast, R15. Our journey started from a small town in western Maharashtra, and we went towards North. Halting at one dhaba we had our lunch. Delicious Makke di roti and Sarso da saag was was served by that roadside dhaba. We always avoid rice while traveling as it induces sleep. We hit the road again at 4pm towards Dapoli, rightly known as the “Mahabaleshwar of Konkan”.

(Konkan is situated in the Western Ghats) As we were approaching Dapoli, temperature started decreasing eventually. Romance was filled in the air. With speed, excitement was accelerating and there was no bounds to our happiness. Finally we entered Dapoli, with fragrance of fish and sound of sea hitting the shore. It was around 6.30pm and sun was setting. Half of it was visible on the waters, with illusion of half being inside the sea. There was an orangish shade all along the beach with a reddish tinge. We stood there on beach, with hands intermingled, feeling the soft breeze hitting our face and disturbing our hair. We watched the sunset quietly, with a silent conversation. I was on the ninth cloud, feeling luckiest and I bet so was he. My faded low waist jeans got wet by increase in the velocity of waves, which pulled me out of my thoughts and I turned my face to his. Sun was about to set, and I could see his eyes twinkling due to orange rays. I bet, that was the most beautiful moment when I looked deep in his innocent, brown, amygdaliform eyes. Those were full of love, charm, happiness and joy. I wished him “happy birthday love” again, and he smiled joyfully. I went more closer to him, close enough not to see his face clearly. We could, now feel our warm breath amidst cold breeze. I close my eyes and our lips meet.

Sudden drop in temperature made us leave the beach and we headed towards Murud, 14kms from Dapoli, where our resort resided. He had pre-booked it as it was on-season. Murud is a very very small town, located almost on a beach. One high tsunami can sweep whole of it. We reached our resort at 7.30pm.
“Coconut Lagoon” was a beach-view resort, with tall and slender coconut trees all over. Soon after completing all the formalities, we headed towards our room. Sound of waves increased rapidly and our feet got full of sandy soil as we walked towards cottage. It was a mind blowing cottage situated amidst greenery with roof made up of coconut tree’s fibres. As I entered in, I was stunned to see beautiful electric lantern aside bed, which was glowing brightly. It sparkled the whole of room adding romance in the air. Bed was covered by plain white bedsheet with tomato red hearts on it. One wall was painted in dark red, while other three were of creamy colour. Roof was painted in white, with a small florescent light.
We both were amazed to see beauty in simplicity and felt heavenly. He decided to have a bath and I thought of resting my back for a while. He turned on the hot water tap which started filling huge transparent glass bathtub. Meanwhile, I saw that he forgot his towel, and so I bent over, to take out his towel from the bag. My loose red top slipped up and he saw the tattoo on my back. Yeah, it was a surprise. As I’m against those permanent tattoos, I had asked my gf to make a henna tattoo exactly above my butt line. It was a burning heart, and had become darkly brown. He saw it from distance and came running out of bathroom and insisted me to show it clearly. The moment I lifted my top, he grabbed my ass tight and pulled towards him. He kissed that burning heart gently and started moving upwards. Yeah, he turned on hard by that tattoo. (Yes! My plan had succeeded! :P) He then reached my neck, and I was turned on. I turned my side towards him and kissed him hard. Kisses progressed into smooching which further progressed to tongue-kissing, lip-eating and ear-kissing! Kissing, we rushed towards bed. Atmosphere was filled with intimacy. Love was at the highest peak, when we heard something flowing. Soon he realized that bathtub was overflowing and bathroom was full of steam. We both started laughing at our idiocy and decided to have a quick bathe. I wore a half jeans with loose light yellow top. He was in a sexy black denim with light green shirt. We moved towards the dining area of the resort, which was situated near the sea shore. Table and chairs were covered by a clean white cloth and a dim candle was lit up. Tired of having punjabi food, we ordered usal (misal like Maharashtrian dish), aloo mutter, few chapatis and steamed rice. Delicious dinner amidst nature added more beauty to the atmosphere. Post dinner, we had a short walk over beach, admiring nature’s beauty and creation. The beach was totally isolated and all we could see was water.
Time passes so fast when you’re with your loved ones. We started talking about our initial days of relationship. That struggle to get together and still how the things weren’t changed. I can still feel the butterflies in my stomach when he looks at me. I still get the goosebumps when he touches me. It’s been three years and still that sparkle is the same. It hasn’t faded at all, instead keeps increasing day by day.
While heading back to our room, we rested on swing tied between two coconut trees. I  laid in his arms and we kept starring at the sky. It was pournima (full moon) and moon was at it’s brightest phase. As sky was totally clear,uncountable stars were visible all over the sky. I, then, insisted to go back to the room. He advised me to proceed and he’ll be coming after a while. I quickly headed towards the room and locked it from inside. I had planned a small surprise for him. I had bought few candles and roses. I plucked all the petals out and placed from the door towards the bed and on the bed. I lit up all the candles and placed over the periphery. Took out his laptop  and copied the romantic playlist I had made, with huge effort with the help of my gfs and kept it ready to play. Beside the bed, I placed a greeting card, made by me using quilling art. I dressed myself in a silky cream coloured one-piece. After switching off the lights, I called out for him to sleep. He knocked the room and found that it was pre-opened. Slowly, he pushed the door and was MOUTH STUBBED! I took his hand in mine and welcomed him. He walked over the rose petals in shock and was overjoyed! He kissed me on forehead and we moved towards the bed. He immediately noticed the greeting card and started to read it. I played the music and the atmosphere was enlightened. I had written a poem in it, expressing as how lucky I am for having him in my life and how nature had been so unnecessarily grateful to me.
He fell in love with my poem and appreciated it. First song on my playlist was “Pehla nasha, pehla khumar ; naya pyaar hai, naya intezaar”, which boosted us with loads of love. He slowly placed the greeting aside and took me in his arms. Embracing each other, we gently kissed. He caressed my hair and my cheeks. Slowly he cuped my face and kissed me hard. I rubbed my hands through his back. Next song was “Bheege hoth tere, pyasa dil mera” and  we got terribly high. I lied on the bed with him on my top. Kissing my neck, he moved down to my breasts. He unhooked my bra which laid underneath my one-piece. Every time I get impressed by this skill of his! He then undressed me totally and so did I to him. It was the most romantic and intimate love making ever!
Next morning, was even more beautiful than previous night! It was because I found myself nude, in his arms , wrapped up in a cozy blanket. That moment when you open your eyes and the first thing you see is your love. I just couldn’t take my eyes off his innocent face while he was deep asleep. I kept starring at him, till the mobile alarm triggered which awakened him! I felt so stupid for not turning it off last night. Anyways, now that he was wide awake, he caught me starring at him. He smiled and wished me with a good morning kiss. Our naked bodies were intermingled and I could feel the warmth of his love, even when the temperature outside was 9°C. Oh my god, how I wish I could wake up in his arms every morning. Later, we had a hot water shower together and got ready for the further activities. I dressed myself in yellow Hawaiian one-piece with colourful flowers on it. He wore a T-shirt with red and white checks and black shorts. For breakfast, we had steamy hot upma in resort and checked out with all the formalities. We then headed towards Murud beach, which was highly populated. It was full of children, adolescents and parents! We chose to have a speed boat ride and a banana ride. Later, we saw dolphins and did paragliding too. Unfortunately snorkeling department was closed. After having our bodies well tanned and clicking dozens of pics, we went to Dapoli for lunch. We had a good thali there, consisting of pure Maharashtrian pithala, potato’s sabji, chapati, waran bhant and yummiest solkadi. After three hours of shopping in Dapoli, we rode back towards home. This time, he was resting back and I rode. It was a beautiful journey and we reached my town by 7.30pm. Since it was Sunday, my mess was closed and we decided to have dinner in hotel kasturi. It lies at the backyard of my hostel. We ordered hot tomato soup, butter naan and veg handi. Well, it was delicious but not more than Konkan. He then dropped me at my hostel and headed towards his home.
Well, end of one more beautiful trip.

LOVE

FIRST POEM DEDICATED TO MY LOVE, MY LIFE, MY EVERYTHING…:)

 
“IN THY SHELTER,THEE LAY”
 

In thy shelter,thee lay;
Thou walk there in a spiny way,
Struggling hard and hard each day,
Just to get thee by thy bay,
In thy shelter,thee lay;
 
They say nothing is difficult to gain,
If it’s mixed up with some pain,
And then shall we leave in our train,
In thy shelter,thee lay;
 
I’ll stick to you and you’ll hold on me,
While they’ll be amazed to see,
That our love is deeper than a sea,
In thy shelter,thee lay!

Inauguration!

Hey folks! I would love to post my first article on the amazing date of this ending year – 20.12.20 13 

Though I created this blog long ago, I really couldn’t find an appropriate occasion to post anything in my busy medical schedule. I find today is the perfect day to inaugurate my blog – Silveronika. 

To begin with, I would love to give you a clue about the hidden meaning behind this name – Silveronika! Well, it’s a combination of my name and my love’s. You’ll come to know about the details with passing time! 😉 

I’m first year dental student who is quite interested in writing, mostly poetries and articles related to anything and everything. Along with writing, I love travelling and photography. Exploring all the hidden and isolated places on this globe is one of my craziest dreams. Rest of my time is occupied by my bulky dental books!! 

So, in a nutshell, I’m gonna post poems, articles, my travelling experiences and beautiful places to visit, so that even you may reach to those hidden places!