I am little intoxicated, I am not gonna lie. So what if it’s a 1 am on a Tuesday night. In fact, I have caught some bad, unhealthy habits over last few months. Last four months have been crazy! Having been cheated and fooled by partners, ecosystem, associates and dear ones. It was hard for the 22-year old drop out to take it all in. Not trying to over glorify the fact that I have dropped out of 1st year of engineering but, some or other person keeps pointing it out every single day.
Some of the major updates include, me turning 22, Ms Sil turning 21 and Silveronika turning 6 in last four months. These are absolutely all that matters to me anyways. Rest all is “not-so-important” to me. I ended up buying the same sedan (Hyundai Verna) that I talked (bitched) about in Goa travelogue. Although I always wanted buy an SUV but as it turns out, being a short guy that I am, Sedan suits and fits better.
Being a birthday month, it brought plenty of surprises. Some pleasant, some unpleasant. It was also the month when we (Silveronika) took the first longest ride of lifetime. We rode all the way to Little Rann of Kutch (LKR) and back. The latter jounrey being non-stop.
It was a crazy idea. Ms Sil had some dental conference happening in Ahmedabad. I proposed the plan to ride the entire way back-and-fro. We discovered a lot of things during this journey. The main thing being persistence and patience. Riding with merely 2-layer of clothing in 7-degree celsius all night was unimaginable and something that we were unprepared for. As you can anticipate, I caught a cough and cold on the return journey. All credits go to Ms Sil for being the tough lady that she is to be able to ride 50% of the return journey all by herself while carrying her sick better-half on the pillion sit of a sports bike.
The second ride of the month was to Goa on my birthday. Ms Sil planned most of it, I executed as per her plan. It was a good journey to North side of Goa. I discovered the other party-animal of myself for the first time. We experienced the calmer side of North Goa (Ashvem/Arambol beach). It was a memorable birthday celebration afterall.
On the professional side, one of the startups that I was part of, raised $60K in angel funding. A big achievement for the struggling bootstrap-entrepreneur like me. The celebration lasted for barely few weeks until my confounder decided to screw everybody’s happiness. On the return journey from my birthday trip, I got to know that my cofounder and dearest friend has decided to dilute my shares by 75%. All the efforts, hardwork, conceptualization gone waste. On the brighter side, all other shareholders in the same startup decided to stand by me and support the decisions that I take.
The valentine’s month? Not really for me. Being a person who never really believed in days, it didn’t really matter. The daily meetings to sort out the cofounder issues in the startup that I was cheated in went on. The cheating cofounder never really accepted his deeds. Investors walked out of the company. I wrote off my investments in the company, got an assurance to get certain $ in leu of selling back my shares to the company and what not. I could write a long essay on the erratic self-centered behavior of a founder in the company that is about to see a bright sunrise.
The last thing that a sinking ship expects is a turmoil in a romantic life. That happened as well. The entire month turned out to be a big fucking mess. Each day of the week brought new surprises to me. God knows how I stood strong in the entire episode and let it pass. I am surprised by own abilities to handle things with patience and positivity. Having said that, I got introduced to smoking and became a chronic smoker during the same period.
March being Ms Sil’s birthday month had a brighter side to it. Not that I spent weeks in planning her special birthday but, I had that hope of positivity deep down within me. I planned a romantic trip, tried involving her close friends, some of them joined the celebration. For the first time in life, I managed to save good $ to gift her a Kindle. Ms Sil being the book lover herself, always wanted a Kindle. I was happy to be able to save money to gift her that gadget.
One true gift of entrepreneurship is to be able to value every single $. I am pretty sure nobody else can understand the value of money like an entrepreneur does. Being able to pay your employees on 1st of each month, being able to clear all the bills in the first week of a new month and then being a broke-ass has a charm of its own. It’s a feeling of eternal happiness and satisfaction. A new experience gave a new perspective towards a sacred love that I have always been craving for. Realized so many things at a young age that I think every individual of my generation should.
April was full of long email fights with the same founder and some major business decisions that changed my life afterwords. I received a big cheque for selling shares back to the same company. Soon enough I realized that the same business partner has issued a stop payment order against the very same cheque. Things led to legal actions which are going to definitely going to haunt me for rest of my life as a digital entrepreneur.
Apart from the major decisions were made in the professional career, personal life looked it is going to fall apart. All credits to the strong bond that me and Ms sil have forged over years, we came back together. The major toll on my health, the bad habits developed in three months continued to grow and flourish. No major ride happened this month. Courtesy to the big fees paid to lawyers, I was broke-ass by end of the month.
The month of May was a great experience for me. I was almost on the hibernate mode professionally. Continued to focus on the new things that I signed up in professional life. Invested most of my time in personal life. Ms sil and I stayed together for over 14 days. We invested most of our time in fixing the broken things in our relationship. I learned to swim, another fear conquered in life. I have always been tremendously afraid of the water. Being able to overcome that fear and swimming was an achievement for me.
The anniversary week was absolutely beautiful. Full of new experiences, happiness and adventures. I would dedicate my next blog post for our 6-years of togetherness.
Something that I realized in last few months is – I am so all in for entrepreneurship that I prefer the pain. I love the climb but, for me the step back is exciting. I love when something goes wrong; it’s where I shine the most. But that’s not for everybody. When it starts affecting your family, your loved ones; that’s when it gets nasty. To me, the way I handled things even the fewer days when I really struggle, I took a real step back. I told myself that I can make trillion dollars tomorrow, maybe through bitcoin (if lucky enough) but if something happens to my loved ones; it means nothing. And then it really worries me. What I did is, I put the business in perspective. For me, it’s not really money; it’s my legacy. So I get hurt little bit more. Something that I have always believed in is, entrepreneurship sucks – it’s lonely, it’s a high risk. I can’t live without but, it’s like a bad but super hot girlfriend. There are a ton of bad days while living the life of an entrepreneur. But life goes on! You spend few days in a grief, you take a step back and rise back in like a phoenix. Ready to shine and ready conquer with the new energy all over again!