Past : The inevitable phenomenon

The past never leaves you. It keeps haunting you. Trust me, it is so bad that in the middle of an ocean of happiness, it can hit you like a meteor and spread the heat of melancholy. It hits you so hard that it literally makes you collapse down. It can bring your positive energy to a negative scale. It can depress you like hell. It can make you forget all the happiness. Even the strongest person cannot get through it. It can make the wisest person feel dumb and strongest to feel weak. That’s the power of past. We say, forget the past and move on. Quotes like, don’t carry the burden of the past are highlighted. But when it hits you, hits you once in a blue moon, hits you so hard, so damn hard that you start shaking, trembling and fall upon the ground. It sucks the energy and all the capabilities out of you, so so bad that you cannot stand. Believe me, you literally cannot stand.

Few words touch your heart too badly. They hit on your chest like a bulldozer and takes you in a black-hole where you cannot escape. You have no freaking choice but surrender. Surrender to the situation, to the circumstances. We all make mistakes. Humans are supposed to make mistakes. As an individual, I think it’s our duty not to repeat the mistakes or dwell on somebody else’s mistakes. Already the person is sinking in his sorrow and by repeating the same words and torturing them isn’t moral. They have already learned lessons and can take no more of repetition and remainder of the past events. Live and let live. Bygones are bygones.

It makes you cry so hard. And sometimes not the incident but the words make you cry. Especially anything about Mr Sil. I know how people go blind in love. Because I feel the same. Mera hamsafar agar iss duniya mein naa rahe, toh mein jeete jee ka maru, alah kasam, hakikat mein mar jau. Apne aap. It feels like our hearts are connected like the teeth of gears. One stops, the counterpart stops. Everything stops. Beep.

Jesus bless.

– Ms Sil.

This entry was posted in love.

Modern Age Relationships

I don’t get it why people celebrate the love on one particular day. I fell in love at a pretty early age. It was with the twinkle in her eyes and cheer in her smile. I still remember the shyness in her fingers. The moments were hinged with uncertainty and unpredictability in early years. For the most parts, our relationship is still the same. Her twinkling eyes, cheerful smile and shyness of her hands when I hold her close hasn’t changed much. Although my relationship began with finding her on a social networking site, the moments we spent afterwards are very retro. I feel, modern technology has made this world smaller and live easier. At the same time, it has diminished mysteries of life and to certain extent, some sense of romance.

The heart bursting longing for Ms Sil has made me do crazy things over last 6.5 years. I have travelled at night, in shivering cold for 200km just to meet her. Plenty of times, I still do it over and over again. For good 2 years of the early phase, we were rarely apart. We spent less time with friends and people, who could not track electronic footprint of our relationship. The outside world fell away and it became just us. Slowly unlocking each other’s secrets and figuring out life’s mysteries.

Ms Sil is an amazing woman. Someone who has never been afraid to jump on the path that I choose. Her struggle to carve her life path with mine while becoming self-sufficient is truly admirable. She loves terribly, beautifully, fully. List of common interests and passion that we share is amazing.

When you love someone, you mesh your life with the other person. The path you choose for yourself becomes tangled with that person, this both thrills and terrifies you. The world becomes an inner battle and you find yourself curling into this person’s arms like a puppy, craving for her touch, her kiss. You become a person who thinks of this woman equally, a person who confides in his woman. This is beautiful. This is love.

We live in a world where people are afraid to feel anything genuine. If not, they are afraid to show it. When you are angry with someone, there’s no communication to talk about it. Instead you get into a passive aggressive response. “Don’t hangout two nights in a row, if you texted first last time, you must wait for him to text you first this time. Don’t double text. Don’t assume anything more than a casual relation even when you are having sex.” Everything is just so calculated to appear thoughtless. Everything in today’s age is done through texting. It’s weird to call someone in the modern world even if it’s about making plans. We are forced to anxiously wait for the response that might never come. The modern age relationships have come so protocol-based. Apathy is more effective in getting someone’s attention than honesty. And if everything said above is wrong then, the manipulative games that man and a woman play in order to maintain control in a relationship. The feeling of two people drawn to each other by an overwhelming instinct while knowing in their heart that it’s right is missing in modern age relationships. What youth of this generation seeks in a relationship is not happiness, it’s empathy and familiarity. The person who is best suited to you need not be the person who shares your taste. But you need a person who can negotiate differences in taste intelligently. The national idea of perfect complementarity does not exist. The capacity to tolerate differences with generosity and disagreements will lead to happy relationships.

It’s time we grow up and stop leaving people hanging with unanswered texts and creepy social media posts. If someone makes you happy, tell them. If you someone inspires you, tell them that. If you are not interested in someone, please just tell them. Everyone is a human and trying to understand one another in messy modern age dating world. You need to stop treating a relationship like it’s a challenge to complete. If you have a strong heart and passionate soul, don’t let go of that part of you for a relationship. The part that decides for yourself and finds strength to stand alone is very important. Yet you cannot be afraid to love, to embrace that ridiculously emotional side of you, the side that blends your strength with passion and emotions.

Love fearlessly, beautifully and fully.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

– Mr Sil

The Chemistry…Her Smile!

Have you ever got drunk with someone’s words? Feeling the ache while consuming them? Words crawling into your heart compressing it and squeezing. Not necessarily the purpose but, like a consequence. Have you ever gotten lost in someone’s eyes? Like they are some blue sky or ocean and you long for it and once they are yours, you just sink in it, ‘till they stop staring at you’? Have you ever been in a such brutal love bond? It becomes a shield in reality. You can feel it, touch it and yet, you yearn for more…

Love is a funny thing you know. If you have ever experienced this level of love, you are a lucky one. I, sincerely, believe that both me and miss silveronika are! We feel blessed, it’s how I feel right now. Drunk, lost & in love!

Someone asked me long back, ‘What’s do you like the most in her?’ I answered, ‘her smile’. Making her smile..Somehow, it’s my favorite thing to do. The simple act of affinity means the entire world to me. I can descry her smile and laughter. The sound made by joy mingled with an impulse. When my eye catches her cheeks upturning and blushing, it gives me eternal happiness. Simple…Artless…Unintentional!

‘What’s so special about her?’ She makes me see things I wouldn’t see alone. She makes my heart and soul smile. Just watching her upturning cheeks and my love for her is returned, equally! Physically we are some distance apart from each other. Distance is just a word now, not a war. I commit my soul to her, intrepidly. Distance is just a choice I make everyday because, she makes my soul smile and heart blossom with joy. That equally applies to her as well. That’s why we are together. I am counting the hours till I get to see her. Again and again! I see her when I close my eyes, she kissing the crinkles in her eyes when she smiles at me. For me, I am her poet and she is my poem. I love us!

 

– Mr Silveronika